Worried about your dosh? - Rating New Zealand’s ‘paid attractions’

‘New Zealand is a backpackers playground’ some square with a man bun stated once upon a time. Well, I may well be wrong about the origin of the quote, but I’m pretty sure that I can’t be too far off. Wherever it spawned from, it’s not wrong. New Zealand gives backpackers (christ, I hate that term) the chance to relive their days of adolescence by running around like headless chickens without so much as a responsible thought going through their heads. The game is generally pretty simple, find a mode of transport and try to see and/or jump off anything you can without dying. My word, it’s a simple existence, isn’t it.

There is an astronomical amount that you can see and do without forking out so much as a dollar, which is bloody fantastic for the poverty stricken and the damn cheapskates. The country, from what I can gather, takes great pride in it’s natural beauty and does it’s utmost to make it preserved and accessible as possible. Whilst it’s not nearly as impressive as a stolen shopping trolly in a ditch off the A40, it’s sense of scale leaves a lot to the imagination of those wanting to morph certain aspect of the county into activities for the paying tourists.

Indeed, much to the despair of all of us all, some of the particularly cool stuff has a price tag slapped on it. While some of the prices will make your eyes water, you can rest assured that you will, for the most part, get your value for money. And that’s good, is it not? Of course - we all love a flippin’ bargain.

This is my second time in New Zealand and, over which time, I’ve done a fair few activities whereby I’ve needed to fork over some dosh. So, without gilding the lily too much, I shall proceed to ramble on about some things. Jesus wept. I’ve just looked back on all the crap I’ve done and theres a lot more then I remember. I suggest you get cosy, this could get boring.

I’ve sorted this list in order of going from Auckland travelling south . A disclaimer of sorts - some of these prices that I’ve aligned with the activity have probably changed, so unlucky. Also, Amelia did the research, so lambast her if needs be.

NORTH ISLAND

Sky Tower - Auckland - $29

The Auckland Sky Tower is probably the iconic, solitary building you think of when you think of Auckland. You can actually enter the tower and wander around a couple of floors for free, dine at the restaurant, go to the casino or flock to the corny souvenir shop. If you want to take the plunge and skyrocket about 60 floors you will have to pay in excess of $29. There’s obviously some killer views of the town there as well as a cafe that serves a pretty controversial hot chocolate. You can actually pay even more to do a SkyWalk or SkyJump at the very summit, but I’l leave you to be the guinea pig in that activity.

Kelly Tarlton's SEA LIFE Aquarium - Auckland - $39

The Auckland Aquarium is about 15-20 minutes out of the city centre which, in itself, is refreshing. If memory serves, it was pretty cool. Mind you, what aquarium isn’t cool? I’ll sound like a right fun sponge if I start listing every single specimen that they inhabit, but there were all the classics; sharks, penguins, all that jazz. Amelia actually did a shark dive, boosting her outgoing to around $99, the crazy bitch. It seemed pretty nifty if you’re into that kind of thing, you get a GoPro and a good hour with them. Naturally, the aquarium caters for children quite a bit, so it’s full of fun things for them, I guess.

Rainbows End Theme Park - Auckland - $59

Well, well, well, where to begin. This one is slightly tragic, by some regards. I think Kiwis do there thrill seeking in the form of activities other than rollercoasters given that this place, the countries only theme park, is quite unexciting. There are a couple of rides that might get your heart racing but other than that, the place is generally quite dated. I think that it may well be one for the kiddies, but theres something for everyone I guess. Some of the rides felt quite wobbly when I’m pretty sure they’re not meant to wobble. By all accounts I’m sure it’s perfectly safe, but I wouldn't pay to go there again.

The Shire - Matamata - $78

Oh, the bloody Shire. The very place I intend to hang up my boots and retire in. Right. This is a difficult one coming from a young man who still firmly believes Middle Earth is a legitimate place and worships The Lord of the Rings. The tour was - good. And I shall leave it at ‘good’. The place is almost too iconic that everybody wants a slice of it. The anticipation getting there, taking the bus trip from the Shires Rest (reception, basically) and weaving through the rolling hills really wet the appetite. Getting there and doing the tour, it pains to say me, was fine. My issue with it comes almost entirely from a selfish point of view whereby there were just far too many people there. Well, there was on this particular day - an overcast March afternoon. The tour group consisted of around 25 people, some more annoying then others. The tour guide was pretty cool and chatty, but sometimes couldn't be heard over other tour guides.

Don’t get me wrong, the place itself is bloody magical and well, well worth seeing. I will probably be doing it again. But the start of the tour whereby you walk in and see Bag End open up before your eyes is just too crowded, for my liking. There were people in high-vis jackets doing maintenance on the gardens and people hogging the photo spots. To be fair, the tour opens up and gets more spacious as it goes on. You are given time to amble around but have to rally on the call. You get a free drink at the Green Dragon at the end while you put your feet up and chill out which is glorious. Again, however, you a rallied up and shipped out by your guide after a certain time.

The thing is, if you have the cash to splash then you can do private tours, have a 3 course meal and bask in all of its glory.

I loved and detested the place, but I would recommend going, obviously.

Wai-O-Tapu Thermal Wonderland - Rotorua - $32.50

Rororua absolutely reeks. Reeks of volcanic activity, sulphur and, well, rotten eggs. The place is lovely though, if that justifies anything. The Thermal Wonderland is an exhibition of different craters and pools, formed over God knows how many years. There is a few different walks and a loop track around them which gives you the chance to have a good old look at slime coloured, champagne pools with baking hot steam bursting out of them. It’s legitimately really cool.

We also opted to go and see the Lady Knox Geyser which was included in the price. Um. We were under the false impression that it erupted naturally at certain times of the day. Turns out some geezer comes and bores you to sleep for 10 minutes before chucking some chemicals in it. It looks quite snazzy when it erupts though, so, worth it!

River Rats Rafting - Rotorua - $105

I might seem to be coming across as a bit of a kill joy here because I equally have a mixed experience about this one. It may well just be the cards that we were dealt, but still. The rafting tour itself is down a pretty damn picturesque river, submerged by forest. You actually plummet down the highest commercially rafted waterfall in the world, which is pretty dandy.

We found ourselves intertwined with a large group of people of a similar age demographic as ourselves, mostly English. I know, hardly the most devastating thing. Now, picture the most popular kids during your school days who had the fewest brain cells. Yeah, that was them.

Ignoring that, the staff there were really good - making the nervous and petrified not so jittery. Even though the rapids are Grade 5 (the highest, I believe) they welcome beginners. After being kitted out, they let you chill out before driving you down to the location and giving you the strict briefing. Having got into groups, we were shown the ropes and went through some kind of old maori chanting where we were essentially blessing the water. That was pretty cool.

Amelia volunteered for us to be at the front of our 6-man raft. Word of advice. If you haven't rafted before, do not sit at the front. We were entrusted with setting the pace of the raft, the rhythm and direction. Getting an earful from some geezer at the back of the raft while your learning grade 5 rapids isn't particularly fun. However, I improved. After plunging down the waterfall is done, the atmosphere gets much more fun and chilled out - you get to get out the raft, in the water and do some mini games of sort. I can say that I’ve done it and I’m happy I did, but I probably wouldn't again!

Gondola and Luge - Rotorua - $44

The Gondola to the summit of one of Rotoruas highest peeks was a nifty afternoon out. It was a scenic trip to the top where there are some killer look out points over the town and Lake Rotorua. We helped ourselves to some ice-cream because it would be rude not too and made our way to the luge. For those who don't know what a luge is, it’s like a little go-kart thing. You grab a helmet, wait your turn, choose the difficulty of track and basically cruise back down the mountain, trying to low-key beat your other half. It’s a good laugh and you get some mad views, so go for it.

Tamaki Maori Village - Rotorua - $120

This was a kind of last minute, pleasant surprise. We booked it spontaneously and ended up having a bloody swell time. We were picked up at our hotel by coach and, after a few stop offs, made our way to the village. We wasn't sure what to expect as we entered with almost six coach loads of people. Every coach were asked to assign a chief whom we allocated after a fair deal of awkward thumb twiddles. We were herded into a section of the village where we were greeted by the maori tribe in extremely serious fashion. Honest, any sniggering and I was getting stabbed. Having pulled my sternest game face, I made it through respectfully.

From there onwards, the atmosphere became a lot more casual and relaxed. The tribe we really inviting and we went from exhibit to exhibit learning about their culture and history, playing some old maori games and getting some photos along the way. This went on for an hour or so and gave us all some real laughs. Actually, the laughs were probably just at me doing the Haka, but hey ho.

We were treated to dinner in the evening with some maori delicacies. The hosts of the event were genuinely warm and embracing, so yeah, good effort.

Hells Gate Geothermal Park and Mud Bath Spa - Rotorua - $75

This was probably Amelias forte as appose to mine, but it was cleansing and…a little bit unusual. We got to take a dip in one of the mud baths and bask in the spring water. If you’re after something relaxing, go here I guess. Probably a bit deer for my liking.

Hairy Feet Waitomo - Hobbit Film Location Tours - Piopio - $50

Speaking on behalf of myself and Amelia, this was probably one of our favourite hidden gems. We didn’t actually make the decision to come until we got to Hamilton, but tracked here regardless. The drive to the farm was illustrious and quaint. Upon arrival, we wandered into the entrance and was greeted by the enthusiastic female staff member (I believe her name was Suzzie, but not sure) who turned out to be our tour guide. She was genuinely one of the nicest people I’d ever met, it was frightening. The shop (also tour entrance) was infiltrated with LOTR figurines, merchandise and maps so I was in my element, eying them up left, right and centre. Our tour group of five was cushy enough and we were given an in-depth tour around the farm with Suzzie pointing out specific points of the films as well as stories about the filming. It was bloody great. Top effort. You can tell that she was proud and passionate about it all which made it a trip worth taking. Do it, nerds.

The Legendary Black Water Rafting - Waitomo - $117/138

This is a bit niche. A little bit of a ‘must-do’ by the New Zealand backpackers unofficial society. The glow worm caves are pretty iconic and certainly lure in a fair few tourists, year round. There are three different tours you can chose from, each giving you a different and unique experience of how to view the glow worms. We opted for the Black Labyrinth tour which wasn’t the most extreme but wasn’t the most substandard at the same time. Needless to say, we had a bloody good time.

Once signing in, we were distributed into our group, consisting of around 10ish people (I think), got wet suited up and received the usual safety briefing we were by this time oh so used too. Disclaimer. The wet suit will probably be damp from the previous tour so it will be uncomfortable. Ouchie.

We were driven to the caves, situated around 15 minutes away. Our guides were pretty chilled out but had a degree of seriousness - this was becoming a recurring yet understandable theme. We selected rubber dinghies which we felt most comfortable in and were leaping backwards into a stream to test our resolve for what was to come. The practise lap was over and we were cave bound.

We spent our expedition leaping off waterfalls, tracking through filthy cave water and floating here there and everywhere. It was a unique experience, especially for one not a particularly good swimmer and probably 2ft too big. It was a rewarding adventure when we got to see the glow worms in all there glory. Fantastic.

The tour lasted a few hours and we got free soup at the end, win-win. I’d strongly recommend doing this granted that I can’t think of a experience like it.

Craters of the Moon- Taupo - $8

A loop walk around some more geothermic activity. Nice enough walk, wouldn't go out of my way to see it. You’ll be underwhelmed if you’ve already been to Rotorua.

The Weta Cave - Wellington - $45

This is another one for the Tolkien dweebs. The gift shop and troll statues out the front are almost worth the admission alone. Okay, maybe not. But they’re a nice touch. Weta Workshop, for those who don't know, are responsible for a lot of the LOTR and Hobbit props and armour. The tour itself lasts 45 minute and is full of information which too this very day i’ve completed forgotten. It was interesting, nonetheless. Not all orientated around Peter Jacksons work films, so I didn’t have a scooby what she was chatting about sometimes. You can’t take any cameras in which is good in a way but, yeah, swell little afternoon there. Go for it.

Wellington Zoo - $24

We actually walked here from the city centre which was a mind boggling idea, don’t do that. The zoo was big enough and had plenty to look at, a place to dine and feeding schedules basically all day. Not a huge ‘zoo person’ personally but it ticked all the boxes I suppose. Cheap as chips. Go crazy.

SOUTH ISLAND

E-Ko Tours - Picton - $99

This wasn't our wisest investment, i’ll be honest. It wasn’t terrible though! We were baited in by a chalkboard outside the entrance which was advertising dolphin watching and, simple minded like we are, we forked up the dosh in an attempt to expose the inner marine biologist within us. Long story short, we signed up to a 6 hour bird sighting tour with some OAP’s. The boat trip, weaving through some of the untouched islands between New Zealand’s two chunks of land mass, was pretty good viewing. We did actually see dolphins swimming in touching distance of the boat on the way back to the mainland. We also got free hot chocolate which was deceivingly lukewarm. If your easily impressed by our friends in the sky then get your wallet out and go for it. If not, I probably wouldn’t.

Glacier Hot Pools - Franz Josef Glacier - $28

When you think of Franz Josef Glacier you probably envision soaring helicopters in the sky looking at one of the worlds most mesmeric glaciers. Well. A helicopter crashed there a few weeks prior so we swallowed our tongues and bottled it. Obviously, I’m sure it’s a worthwhile investment while you’re there. Instead, we opted for the hot pools which was basically a saucy little spa. We only paid to do the pools so, while it was nice, we lounged there and sodded off. If you’re in the area with zilch to do, then go and get involved.

AJ Hackett Bungy Kawarau Bungy - Queenstown - $195

I think that this is the activity that goes hand-in-hand when you think of New Zealand. I wouldn't constitute myself as a thrill seeker. I live a content life, am pretty easy to please and probably don’t need to be jumping off bridges. You might even label me as a bit of a wimp. Well. Jokes on you, because I did it. If I can do it then you can do it. Naturally it’s daunting and, however confident you feel prior, tiptoeing towards the edge of the plank over a murky river is nobodies cup of cha’. This might sound really, really sad - but you feel invincible after you’ve done it.

The staff, or perhaps mainly the young lady who signed us in, was bubbly and made us relaxed from the get go. We got weighed and basically waited our turn, it was as simple as that. Watching overwhelmed Swedish girls blubber in fear and refuse to jump only fuelled my own confidence. When called upon, you get harnessed up and the staff, once again, keep your mind distracted from the fact that you may well plummet to your death. I can’t really describe it to you because it’s unique to different people. But I jumped, I howled and got shipped out. My only criticism, which is pretty damn obvious, is that it’s over so quickly. A lot of money for 15 seconds of windswept hair and potential heart failure.

It’s probably the most…um, mildest bungee you can do? Mildest? Yeah, why not. I wouldn't pay to do it again because, well, why would I? But it’s an experience. We also got all the photos included in our package and paid for the video.

Shotover Jet - Queenstown - $145

High off of our bungee jump, we opted to do the Shotover Jet on the Kawarau river. It basically is as extreme as it sounds. A jet boat going at ridiculous speeds through a narrow river with razor sharp cliff faces. Fun, right? I think it can get quite busy but we did a trip quite late in the day so our group size was - ideal. There wasn't much instructions to follow, just put on a life jacket and hold on. It was pretty mental and our driver was pretty sound. Well, I say that. According to Amelia, he tried chatting her up and tried wooing her there and then (bare in mind, he was well in his 40’s) while I went to the car to get something. Imagine. Christ. I think we got a slightly discounted price because we got it on a last minute offer, otherwise it can probably get a bit expensive.

Arrow Town Gold Panning - $10

You get to search for gold in the Arrow Town river using a gigantic sieve. That’s about it. Pretty sure that only children on school trips do it, but we thought it would be a laugh. Didn’t find any gold despite our best efforts but the place in general is nice enough for a casual day out.

Minus 5° ICE BAR - Queenstown - $30

It’s hardly somewhere that you could spend a night with the lads but it’s a pretty unique experience. As part of the package, you get one free cocktail each and can buy an official photo if you so wish. We did, it’s tragic. I think that it’s worth doing so long as you dress warm - they do give you a big old bloody coat plus the ice sculptures and that are elegant.

Gondola - Queenstown - £35

The same principle as the gondola in Rotorua. You can luge down but we didn't do it for whatever reason. We went on a really bad day to be honest, the visibility at the top was really bad but you can tell that on it’s day it's breathtakingly majestic. Theres a jelly bean shop at the top, a restaurant and I think that you can do star gazing up there too? Oh, and a gigantic, framed picture of Frodo made out of jelly beans, that kept me happy.

Puzzling World - Wanaka - $20

My word, this is getting tedious. Right. Puzzling world. Theres probably enough natural beauty in Wanaka that you don't really need to pay to see anything. However, if you fancy going to puzzling world then you can see a couple of weird illusions that will give you a few minutes of amusement. Admittedly, some of the stuff is a bit trippy but it’s a bit of a science museum, if that floats your boat. Theres a maze at the end which isn’t particularly big, nor particularly exciting. If you have more than a few days in the area then do it, if not, I wouldn't go spewing your pennies.

Kayak Hire/Pedalo Hire - Basically Anywhere - $25/30 p/hour

We thought that it would be ludicrous not to explore New Zealand by water and with some of the most scenic lakes/rivers, it’s something you have to at least try. It’s difficult to put a price bracket on the activity because it’s accessible throughout the country. I’m pretty sure that we paid around $25 to freedom kayak around Lake Taupo for about an hour (I think the staff are pretty laid back and lenient on time duration) which, albeit disastrous for our couples bonding, was a good laugh. You can obviously do so many guided kayak trips whereby you have an instructor to follow and are taught the ropes more vividly, but it will cost you probably $100 upwards. Happy paddling!

Steampunk HQ - Oamaru - $10

See, this ones actually a little bit quirky and a little bit different. That’s good. This aspect of science fiction isn’t an avenue that I generally wander down and you don't particularly affiliated it with New Zealand and all its pureness. But, you know what, it was actually a refreshing change of scenery and made the town so unique and worth stopping in. The admission to the museum was reasonable and, albeit it is was a tad ‘same old’, it fit the theme of the town like a glove. The chap working there was a pretty odd character as well, making the experience better, I guess! If your venturing from Dunedin to Christchurch or vice verser and need a break, I’d certainly pop in.

Cadbury World Tours - Dunedin - $22

This was actually the first thing we did in New Zealand which, well, hardly saw us hunting orcs and conquering mountains. I wasn’t overwhelmed with excitement upon doing it but old Bill and Ben over here just love chocolate, so that was that sorted. We had a guided wander around, learned some facts (forgotten every single one of them) and ate some chocolate, as you would expect. For the record, the chocolate here isn’t like back home which is borderline devastating, but oh well. We were in group of around 10-15 people, half of which were Chinese and more interested in catering to their offsprings tears. Jolly good. I suppose that it was pretty cool but not really unique - certainly not a must do.

So, I think that’s about it chaps. I’ve well and truly spilled the beans. If you do happen to be doing any of these activities or are intrigued then don’t hesitate to get into contact with me, I can pour my heart out to you. I don't think we came out of any activity particularly distraught but at the time of doing them, money wasn't really on our mind. Perhaps with a bit of hindsight we might have got the wrong end of the bargain. They created memories though and that’s all that matters. Obviously we booked some of the must-do kind of things (Bungee, Shire etc.) well in advance so got a much more reasonable price, so i’d advise that you do so too. Just get out there and enjoy yourselves, that’s all I can stress. Until next time.

Samwise

Sky Tower - Auckland - $29

Kelly Tarlton's SEA LIFE Aquarium - Auckland - $39

Rainbows End Theme Park - Auckland - $59

The Shire - Matamata - $78

Wai-O-Tapu Thermal Wonderland - Rotorua - $32.50

River Rats Raft - Rotorua - $105

Gondola and Luge - Rotorua - $44

Tamaki Maori Village - Rotorua - $120

Hells Gate Geothermal Park and Mud Bath Spa - Rotorua - $75

Hairy Feet Waitomo - Hobbit Film Location Tours - Piopio - $50

The Legendary Black Water Rafting - Waitomo - $117/138